This is a satirical piece from APHL’s internal April Fools’ Day publication. Enjoy it for what it is – comedy! This is not actually happening. We promise.
Attempting to capitalize on their success in reducing federal spending by almost $10 billion through the previous two-week long continuing resolutions that have kept the federal government operating, the House leadership today announced that the next Continuing Resolution (CR) would only last one day; and would be followed by a CR that will only last one hour. An aide to a member of the Leadership said, “We figure that forcing a vote to keep the federal government open on an hourly basis will ultimately cause all Members to throw up their hands and ask ‘Why bother?’” The aide continued, “Another option we considered was going down to 30 minutes, but because no one can figure out how to have a roll-call vote that only lasts 30 minutes we ruled that one out. The turmoil caused by the uncertainty of finishing the vote before the government shut-down was more than most people were interested in.” Asked how Congress will conduct its business when it will be occupied by hourly votes on CRs, the aide responded, “Precisely”. The first one-day CR will be considered by the House on April 9; plans for the first hourly CR are still being developed, but look for it to come to the floor for a vote on April 10.